i'm not different... just weird...2011 #4

Assalamualaikum WBT.

Hurmmm... Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? dreams you had for years didn't turn to reality. When the person you've become isn't the one you wanted to be?

Today I felt that. I didn't get to do what I am supposed to do. And the things I did is not what I supposed to do. I feel like I am losing now in this battle. And I'm feeling like I kinda lost my way.

Since I was a kid, I didn't have much motivation and strength. I always take things for granted. I always blame others if things went bad. I complained a lot. i dream a lot. I am lazy. I lied...and I lied a lot... :(

And up until now, I don't think I've changed. I am still that lazy, unmotivated, whining person. It's not that I don't want to be better. I want to be better. I really do. But it seems to me that changing is not an easy task. People said that we need to get out of our comfort zone. Put our hands in the mud. But that just never happened to me. I know all the reasons for life turn out to be like this for me. I do realize that the problem is myself.

But like I said, I am lazy, and unmotivated. I'm not sure how i got this far in life. But I do think that luck is all I have so far, and I'm gonna be out of luck soon. I realize that if the time comes, life gonna eat me bad...and I'm done, I'm gone... Because I don't really prepare myself quite well for this situation.

How can I make this to change..? How can I be passionate in the things that I need to do? Things that suppose to prepare me when my luck runs out.

Hurmmm... I'm not sure what to do? Where to begin? When to start? I'm not sure who I want to become? And quite sure that I am not sure who I am right now...

Astaghfirullah... :(

I need help... I need help bad... :(

hati-hati melangkah...

Assalamualaikum...

To all my friends.

Life is not like movies. It is so real we cannot skip the part which we don't like. So not like movies where we can easily identify the good guys and the bad guys. Life is so real the good guys rarely get a nice beautiful life. And life is so cruel...where justice doesn't always prevails.

Life is like gambling and there's always somebody who is cheating. But in life, those who cheated rarely get caught and punished. And that is life...and yes, life is unfair.

But guys, we can never blame life for all the bad things happening to us. Because that is just the way life is. But not us. We as Insan were gifted with our eyes to see and observe, ears to hear, listen and analyse, our mind to think and to judge...then we have our heart and Iman to choose and decide.

Choose your step...carefully...

i'm not different... just weird...2011 #3

Hello again. Eventho i know nobody's reading this crap, but I still wanna crap. Because there're a lot of things going on in my head lately and I can't hold everything up in here any longer. Gotta crap out the crap out of my crappy head.

Today's crap is about Malaysian driver. Hell man...I'm not sure what do these people have in their heads when they are driving/riding. Tho many are careful drivers/riders, but there are also a lot of crazy people on the lose driving and riding on the road. And sometimes, walking. After seeing all these, I keep on thinking, aren't we Malaysian supposed to be the polite, well-mannered, soft-spoken, friendly people of the east? Well, I think as time goes by, these politeness in us goes along with it. But I do hope that we will become what we were before. It's not cool to see people die in car crash, hit-and-run, rempit and all these nonsense.

So, these are the top ten unique Malaysian cars/bikes I usually see on the road. Let's check it out.

1) Wira tonggek - tayar belakang besar mcm tayar bajak and ends up terbalik kat selekoh (gua nampak semalam kat jln bangi lama).

2) Waja xde signal - tadi aku tgk ko kat lane kiri, bile aku nk potong, ko da ade kat depan aku. cibai betul.

3) Kancil high beam - kalau aku blk kelas mlm2, mesti jumpa ni. sakit la mata aku bodoh. dah la penat baru abes kelas.

4) Mitsubishi Evo 3 (wira modified) kaler hitam x nmpk dalam - x pasang lampu, jln mlm2, asap keluar kepul2...duk lane kanan xnak tuka lane perasan laju...habeh berminyak kete aku...

5) Toyota Passo TRD (MyVi modified) - ini lagi satu... mentang2 ade awek ko kat sebelah, ko nak cucuk2 blakang kan... nk laju gi la masuk lane kanan!!!! BODOH!!!!!!!!!!!

6) Evo 10 lambang kepala rimau (waja modified) - x tau dah nk kate ape... tgk kan je la... bg je la dia potong wlupun terpaksa slow down dari 120 ke 90...

7) Kereta xde side mirror - aku nmpk kete ko ade side mirror, tp ko xreti guna ke?

8) Kereta ade basikal kat bumbung - ko nak letak buldozer sekali pun atas bumbung kete ko aku x kesah, tp jgn la block jalan... bingai...

9) Bas Express belok2 - kejap kat kiri kejap kat tgh kejap kat kanan... kang jap gi dalam gaung... org byr tiket utk menemui yg tersayang...bukan utk menemui ajal... bodoh la kau...

10) Motor rempit - perlu ke usha2 aku kat traffic light? bukan aku usha spender awek ko...dia yg tayang...

kahwin... gulp...(X.X)

Cuti sekolah ni terkenal dengan sesi akad nikah di kalangan orang2 yg sudah cukup syarat. Tak ketinggalan member2 sekampung gua dan juga member2 time study dulu. Hari ahad 29/5 bezfren gua dari Segamat selamat menjadi laki orang dgn seorang cikgu matematik dari kelantan (Tahniah kalian berdua - Syah dan Wanie).

Pada hari yg sama jugak, member gua mase study kahwen. Gua pegi wedding dia sama Izzat (McIzzy). Gua risik2 Izzat, mcm dah dekat jugak tu dia tu. Gua ade terbaca kat majalah urtv yg Izzat skrg duk belek2 katalog cincin. OK lah tu, dia pun dah dpt kerja gaji riban2. Usia dia pun semakin meningkat tua. Mmg patut pun dia mendirikan rumah tangga. At least ade la yg kejut dia pg2 klu dia terlewat bangun sebab tgk Man U maen pd awal pagi.

Tapi yg menjadi persoalan disini ialah, gua ni dah bersedia ke? Huu... kdg2 tu seram gak. Nak2 bile pegi wedding sedara mara. Soalan yg semakin menjadi pertanyaan wajib mak cik2 gua dan mak cik2 jiran sebelah menyebelah bile berbual2. 'Angah bile lagi?'... Minggu lepas jumpa korg tanya...mggu ni jmp korg tny lagi...bulan dpn jumpa confirm korg tanya lagi... x boring ke? Dan kdg2 gua improvise jawapan dgn menjawab seperti :

A) Tu la, tgh tggu anak mak cik yg bongsu tu umur 18.

B) Kan minggu lepas kenduri saya, mak cik x dtg ke?

C) Saya baru jek lepas bercerai...

D) Saya gay la mak cik. (Ini rekaan semata2. Gua ade awek ok. Perempuan tulen. Sumpah!)

Tapi hakikatnye, gua pun teringin sgt2 nak ade mak mertua dan bapak mertua. Tapi tunggulah setahun dua lagi. Gua nak setting betul2 hidup gua. Nak try jd lebih matang dan responsible. Sekarang ni gua x matang & x responsible ke? Honestly...gua think so. So I really2 have to be straight about this marriage thing. It is not an easy task. It'a a life-time commitment.

Kdg2 gua takut, kdg2 gua excited, kdg2 gua x tau pun ape gua rase. But hey, that's life. We will never know what it really is. Once we think we got it all figure out, it's actually the time we need to figure it all out.

So Hadi, hati-hati melangkah.

i'm not different... just weird...2011 #2

tadi gua tuka2 sket rupabentuk blog gua...lepas follower sudah hilang... amacam?

i'm not different... just weird...2011

eyh, aku ade blog la... ahahaha... patut pun rase laen mcm jek td...

thanx to http://blurblifestory.blogspot.com/ for reminding me... keh keh keh